he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
