So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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