i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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