I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
