Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
