so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
