he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize