come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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