do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
