Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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