She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
