everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
