Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
