Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
