Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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