i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
