Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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