Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
