I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
