Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
