He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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