Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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