Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
