I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
