i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
