but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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