There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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