New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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