What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
