i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Be still, my beating vagina.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
