THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
