so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
