Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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