I think I died a long time ago.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
