Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
