i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
