i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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