it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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