Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We have so much sex to catch up on
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
where are my eyebrows?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
