Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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