if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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