found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
