his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize