i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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