this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
