I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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