your thong is hanging out like whoa
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
