Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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