Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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