Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
