I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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