Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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