I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
