He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
