I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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