Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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