4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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