dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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