if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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