How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
