my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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