Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
