lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she pinky promised me she was 18
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
